There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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