I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
