My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
