Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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