Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
