My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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