Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize