Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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