ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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