you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
