Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
