Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
