Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
