The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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