need another drink. this is the easiest way
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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