i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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