it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
