Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She bit a glass in half.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize