yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
