dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
