dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
