I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
