No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
