if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize