Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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