Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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