"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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