I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
two words: eviction party
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
