Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
