stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
