Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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