I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
