Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
