So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize