just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i out mim tonsoeep
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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