I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
