yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
