You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
