its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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