I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
