I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
operation have a gay friend backfired
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
