This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize