And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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