You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
