things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My dick has a subreddit
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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