we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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