I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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