I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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