Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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