erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
