elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize