I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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