What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
