She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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