stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize