idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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