dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
