You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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