You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
