did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
