I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
