Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
