thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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