It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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