If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
