I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he fucked my hip out of place.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
