omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
