He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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