two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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