I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
