I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize