Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just found a bag of teeth...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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