Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
