only if we run a train.
done.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
