my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize