My friends, they love my intelligence
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
