My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
3pm strippers are depressing
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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