In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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