I heard we made out
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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